Sunday, October 8, 2017

Am I Transexual?

Introduction: Trangendered or Transsexual?
First of all, there is a big difference between being transgendered and being a transsexual. Transgender folk feel like the opposite sex mentally. Transsexuals desire to change their bodies to become the opposite sex physically.
You might think these always go hand and hand, but they don't have to. I met a transsexual once who went from male to female physically, but continued to live as a male. He was completely happy with his identity as a male, but plain and simply couldn't tolerate his male physical self.
I also know a transgendered person who lives and works as a woman with complete success, but absolutely never wants to have sex reassignment surgery. She was born male and loves her male sexuality but feels completely female of mind.
I bring these examples up to illustrate a well-known psychological distinction - the difference between gender dysphoria and genital dysphoria.
In plain language, "dysphoria" means "can't tolerate." In the real world, it means you are so unhappy with the way things are that you are nervous, anxious, and may even consider suicide to end the mental anguish.
"Gender" is not about what's between your legs. It refers to your gender identity, and that is best described not as male or female but as masculine or feminine. In the real world the term "gender" is bandied about as if it were a synonym for "physical sex." You see it when filling out applications -"Gender - M or F."
But gender is really all about your emotions (and, as we shall later see, also about the way you think logically too!) In short, are you happy and satisfied with the way society treats you on the basis of gender or are you not?
If you like some parts the role society lays out for you, but don't like others, or even if you like all of the role you are assigned, but yearn to experience some aspects of the other, you are not alone!
In fact, there are very few people who are one hundred percent of one gender and nothing of the other. Laying it out flat: everyone is transgender to some degree or other.
It is when that degree is very large that the feelings of dysphoria become very strong, and that is when people begin to question their gender identity.
If society allowed and completely supported any individual acting and dressing any way he or she wanted, there would still be two genders but they wouldn't be based on physical sex. But society isn't like that. Even today, society expects men to act like men and women to act like women. And so, since just about everyone has some degree of transgenderism, just about everyone feels at least a little constrained in their assigned gender role.
Think of gender not as a binary choice of one thing or another, but as a spectrum or range with "Masculine" on one end of the line and "Feminine" on the other. If you had to class any given person on that scale, you would place them somewhere along the line between the two.
But in reality, that just sums up all of a person's traits, averages them together like making a smoothie in a blender, and then describes what the whole thing tastes like.
A better way to think about gender is as a collection of distinct traits, each of which has a range from masculine to feminine. For example, does liking to watch football mean a person is masculine gendered? Of course not. Like me, you probably know a lot of women who enjoy football, though most, it is true, do not.
Does enjoying knitting prove someone is of a feminine gender? Nope. My daughter is an award-winning knitter, and her fiancée has taken up the craft with great enthusiasm. He's a masculine dude, but finds it a relaxing hobby.
Still, do real men not eat quiche, as the book title states? Society would have you think so. Just look at television commercials and you'll see that 98% of them cast men and women in masculine and feminine roles based on their physical sex, as if the two attributes were tied to each other.
How did it get like this? Simple, really. Society is like a living machine. It doesn't care if you are happy; it just cares if you do your job. It assigns jobs to those best equipped to handle them - that's how society keeps itself strong.
Due to differences in the brains of men and women and also due to the effects of testosterone vs. estrogen, adult men and women are not equally equipped, mentally and physically.
For example, if have a need for big strong people to help lift heavy loads, you'll find more men than women. There aren't a lot of women working on moving vans, for example. Men, in general, are just physically bigger and stronger than women.
But, when it comes to handling electronic components on an assembly line, you'll find almost only women. Women's brains (and hormones) make them far more patient with repetitive tasks then men for whom it is almost torture.
So, society keeps itself efficient by creating unspoken boundaries between the sexes that guide men and women into activities for which they will be most efficient overall.
Though just about everybody is transgender in at least a few small ways, there are so many different kinds of jobs, activities, and lifestyles available that nearly everyone can find a niche in society where they perform a function and fit in with others who are attracted to that niche.
Think of all the stereotypes - the computer geek, the debutante, the football player, the housewife. There's a job, activity, or role for just about everyone - just about. But for some of us, no matter which niche we tried, we found the fit a little too tight, like a pair of jeans a size too small.
Can you still squeeze into them? Sure. But are you comfortable? Not hardly.
Suppose the jeans were two sizes too small? Or three? What if they were so small you couldn't get into them at all? Well, this describes the varying degrees of gender dsyphoria.
Most people have such a mild case of gender dysphoria that they can forge a happy life, even if the jeans don't exactly fit in all areas. After all, how many of us can't buy off the rack and need tailored clothes instead?
But if the role is too tight, we live uncomfortably. The worse the fit, the more we chaff and fidget. Eventually, we may become so uncomfortable that we think perhaps a different role would fit better.
But how can we tell without actually trying it on? And therein lies the rub, as it were. How can we go about sampling the other role without destroying everything we've built in our current role - relationships, seniority, perhaps career recognition?
For males seeking to explore the female society role, the first step is often cross-dressing. For women , the tendency is to explore being a tomboy. Why the difference? In society, the male role is a lot more restrictive. So, any outward expression of feminine traits brings immediate ridicule. In addition, men are not "allowed" by society to wear anything pertaining to the opposite sex. So, alone, at home, men exploring their gender identity will try on female clothing as an aid to imagining themselves as women, so they can act, move, and even practice speaking as a woman.
Now there's an important differentiation here. So far, we've said nothing about sexual stimulation, essentially, what turns you on? Does cross-dressing turn you on? If it does, does it mean you are a transvestite rather than a transsexual. Naw. Not that simple.
What turns us on is as unconnected to any other traits as gender dysphoria is independent of genital dysphoria. For example, gay men come in a whole range of varieties from very feminine to very masculine. But, they all like other men. Some like women too. And some are auto erotic.
Some who like women also are really bisexual. Some straight men to also like men a bit are bisexual. But like everything else, it is a matter of degree - do you find both sexes equally attractive? Do you find one more than the other? Are you attracted to one of the sexes but also to just one attribute of another?
Many gay men who would never want to make love to a woman find themselves oddly titillated by female breasts. Go figger. In a phrase, anything goes. So, when trying to figure yourself out, don't box yourself in.
If you are turned on by cross-dressing, you might just be a cross-dresser who gets off on the experience. Nothing wrong with that at all. As we used to say in the 70's, "Whatever turns you on."
But, a lot of true, majorly dysphoric transsexuals also started by cross-dressing and were also stimulated by it. I can tell you for a fact that a little known secret is that many 'true" transsexuals who started out men but whose minds are totally female still get turned on by wearing women's clothes everyday, even decades after having sex reassignment surgery. What's more, a lot of born women get turned on by their clothes as well. Why do you think lingerie is so popular? You think women do it just for the guys?
Any time anyone enjoys some kind of activity sexually, it is a normal reaction. When a lot of people do the same thing, society either condones it or looks the other way. For example, men and women can kiss in public, but look what happens if two people of the same sex kiss in a shopping mall in most parts of the world.
Whenever less than a majority of people engage in a particular form of sexual gratification, it is branded a fetish by society, which frowns on "aberration" because it threatens the efficient operation of the social machine. But there's really nothing wrong with it per se - it just gums up the works of the Great Engine of Society.
Not all transgendered or transsexual folk start by cross-dressing. Some bypass it completely. Those are the ones for whom gender dysphoria is really strong but genital dysphoria is weak. In other words, they like their bodies but want to express themselves femininely.
So what about this "genital dysphoria" anyway? Some clever person described genital dysphoria in born males as "venus envy." In short, they want to swap their genitalia for the other kind.
Again, this can simply be a comfort thing where you feel as if you have some sort of alien growth between your legs, feel unclean, and have to change it to the other kind. Or, it can be a sexual thing where you have no particular attachment to what you've got, but would really enjoy wearing the other sex as your body.
Once more, a lot more women than men get off on their own bodies. Women's brains and hormones tend to make them feel more like the bait wiggling on the hook than the fish looking for a quick lunch. Who do you think enjoys mirrored ceilings more? (And speaking of mirrors, how often do you see women checking out their reflections? In men it is seen as vanity, in women, well, "Woman, thy name is vanity." In other words, its normal for girls.
Okay, I've dumped a lot of information on you, especially if you are a beginner just trying to understand yourself.

So how can you find the answer to the question, "Am I a transsexual?"
While there is no single test you can take or single activity you can do to answer this question objectively, I've listed a number of smaller questions and tasks below that will enable you to answer this question for yourself with confidence.

Monday, September 4, 2017

Transsexual Success Stories


10 Things I Did to Feel Like a Girl


10 Things I Did to Feel Like a Girl When I Couldn’t Transition

The day I started hormones was the best day of my life. It was also a day I had to wait almost two years for, due to waiting lists here in the U.K. Sadly, the struggle to get onto hormones and begin transitioning is something many transgender people face — whether it's due to waiting lists, financial issues, or unsupportive families, this can be extremely detrimental to our mental health. As Jay Stewart, PhD, the founder of Gendered Intelligence, explains, “It is so important for young trans people to express their gender in the ways they feel is right for them."
Before I started my hormones, I felt depressed, but what got me through it was finding ways to make myself feel more feminine (at least, according to what my own definition of femininity is) and like I was progressing in my transition. Of course, everyone’s transition is different and everyone’s idea of femininity is different. But here, I share some of the things that helped me, as well as some of my top tips if you're going through a similar time.
I grew my hair!
This was the easiest and cheapest way to progress in my transition because it cost no money at all and I could do it without even thinking. (Of course, I realize that not every girl wants to grow out her hair, but this was something I wanted to do.) Caring for your hair with nourishing treatments and oils can help to make it grow, but the best part about this extra hair care is that I was able to give myself some self-care, too.
Body hair removal
On the topic of hair: As well as growing it, there may be hair you want to remove. Everyone has different preferences to body hair, but my body hair always made me feel dysphoric. So even though I wasn’t living full time, I’d still do things like shave my legs so I felt more feminine. If you want to also have your hair removed, you can consider laser hair removal on your face (and consider that it's a process that can take time).
Moisturizer is everything
I took time every day to moisturize my body from head to toe, and I don’t mean just slapping it on in a rush! I really took time to connect with myself — massaging it into my skin, showing my body some love. This really helped me battle my body dysmorphia and it improved my skin; win, win.
I painted my nails
Similarly to the moisturizing routine, this was a way of showing my body and myself some love. Looking down and seeing a feminine hand is a small but significant way I would affirm my gender to myself during this period where I wasn’t allowed or able to express it to the rest of the world. I wasn’t confident enough to go for a bold color during this period, so I’d just keep them filed and buffed with a coat of clear gloss, but this was enough to keep me feeling feminine during this hard time. Try it!

I practiced my voice
I began working on my voice. Sadly for us transgender girls, unlike transgender guys, hormones don’t do anything to our voices, so if you want a more feminine one (not everyone does!) you’ll have to train it yourself. There are loads of YouTube videos that will teach you how do this. It takes time and practice, though, so if this is something you want for yourself, get on with it as soon as possible. Alternatively, if this is something you don’t care about, good for you — that’s one less thing to worry about.
I practiced wearing makeup
Firstly, let me say that no, you don't have to wear makeup to be a woman. But if makeup is something you want to use, it does take some practice! I've realized that this waiting time is the perfect opportunity to perfect the craft. One way to start learning the basics is to look up "morning routine" videos, where makeup artists show you their daily makeup routine.
I started my wardrobe
I started building up my female wardrobe, which helped me feel like I was progressing. If you're tight on money, I suggest making a Pinterest board of clothes you want to (and will!) wear.
Eat well and exercise
Eating well and exercising is something we should all be doing (I ain’t judging you, I can’t talk!), but it's extra important to do so during this time period. There are certain exercises you can do to create a more feminine figure if this is something you want. Squats, for example, will give you the ass of your dreams, no hormones required. Exercise, as we all know, is great for your mental health, too — so that's an added bonus.
Started saving money early
I started saving my money. Transitioning can be expensive, especially if you want any surgery (though not everyone does, which is totally OK). But even the things like laser hair removal, makeup, and a new wardrobe add up. Saving money means you’re still progressing toward your goal and not staying stagnant during this period of waiting.

I learned to love myself.
This is the hardest, but most important, tip on this list. You don’t have to be on hormones or living full-time to start learning to love yourself. All the tips on this list have focused on changing yourself physically, but if you don’t learn to love yourself first, you will keep changing yourself until you’ve lost yourself — and even then, you still won’t love yourself. Start from within. If you tell yourself you’ll only be able to start loving yourself once you’ve transitioned, that’s not truly loving yourself. To love yourself means to accept yourself, wholeheartedly, as you are. Loving yourself doesn’t mean you necessarily like everything about your body, but it means you wholeheartedly accept everything about your body, and there’s nothing more beautiful, powerful, or important than that.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Two Distinct Types of MtF Transsexuals


TYPE 1: The prototypical feminine androphilic transsexual was called a “sissy” by her peers growing up.  She avoided rough & tumble activities.  Her primary social circle consisted of one or two girls.  She actively participated in girls games and imaginary play.  Her parents were embarrassed by her femininity, and may or may not have sought professional help in trying to discourage her behavior.  As a young teen, she became interested in girls fashion and make-up, often exploring how she might look as a girl by dressing up and experimenting with make-up.  This did not involve erotic cross-dressing.  She had crushes on boys at school.  Her peers thought she might be homosexual.  She was hassled, perhaps even bullied, by homophobic boys, but otherwise was reasonably popular in her chosen circle.  She was considered very neat and well dressed in boy’s clothes.  She sought out opportunities to interact with small children and infants, taking on babysitting jobs.  As she approached adulthood, looking at her own nature, her potential future, both romantic and economic, made a rational decision to transition to living as a girl so as to grow up to be a woman socially.  Her family may or may not have disowned her in late adolescence.  As she is naturally feminine, she found that she was socially and romantically more successful as a womanShe actively dated men while pre-op, but assiduously avoided direct contact with her penis, finding that emotionally uncomfortable.  She lived several years as a woman, taking feminizing hormones, before having SRS to improve her sex life, replacing genitalia that she didn’t use with those that she did.

TYPE 2: The prototypical autogynephilic transsexual was accepted as a boy as a child, though she wasn’t the most masculine.  She was often a “loner”, finding her hobbies and reading to be more rewarding, but still willing and ready to participate in rough & tumble play.  She often envied girls and observed them more often than most masculine boys.  As she entered puberty, she began erotic cross-dressing in private, often masturbating while dressed, usually with lingerie.  She found this shameful and hid her cross-dressing as best she could.  She entertained thoughts of living as a woman, often in very idealized situations.  As a young adult, she dated women, often finding it necessary to imagine that she was female to “perform”.  She typically hid this fact from her dates.  She fell in love and found that the previously growing desire to live as a woman abated for a while.  She married and had children.  Her need to cross-dress… and use autogynephilic ideation grew, as the first blush of their romance matured into committed love.  She agonized about it obsessively, trying alternatively to push it out of her thoughts and trying to appease it by cross-dressing.  At one point, perhaps in her early 30s, or in her late 50s, a set-back or other significant personal change brought all of these feelings to the fore… and she made the fateful decision that she could no longer ignore her sexuality.  After having tried to ignore the cognitive dissonance between her successful social identity as a man, husband, and father, and her obligatory autogynephilic image of being female, concluded that the female image is her “true” image.  She then made steps to begin counseling with a gender therapist, obtained prescription for feminizing hormones, and then began the painful steps to living full time as a “transsexual”, since she had too many social connections who know of her previous status as a man.  She had SRS within a short time of nominally living as a woman, as she was impatient, feeling like she had waited long enough in her previous life as a man.  Her wife may or may not have demanded a divorce.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

How to Feminize a Man


Stage 1

Shave legs, wax his bikini line. He needs to understand all the things we girls go through. Ideally make him also shave his balls, cock, and all his pubes. Keeping smooth for you should be a daily task for him. I love waxing men’s bottoms and back. Nothing like running your hand over his nice smooth form bottom.

Once you have him starting to dress, take him shopping for his own clothes. If he is a suit man, get him to buy skirt suits, maybe, and only maybe allow him a nice trouser suit so long as its very feminine. The purpose of him buying his own girlie clothes is to reinforce physiologically that these are his. Let him choose them, but of course steer him in the right direction.

Don’t forget to reward him for doing these things for you. Give him sex as a reward. Training a guy is as simple as training a dog. Find out what he needs (usually sex) and then use that as a reward.

One great thing to do for both his training and your reward is as follows:-
Have some great sex. Tell him it is his reward for being good. But make him promise to finish you off your way for a change. You might want to tie him up the first time. One great way is to make sure he is laying on his back so you can sit on him and ride him. Let him cum deep inside you and fill you up. Then sit on his face. Yes, that’s right sit on his face and make him lick you. If he doesn’t start licking immediately grind yourself against him. He soon will get the message. Make him lick you until you cum again. Secretly he will have always wanted to do this. The thought of eating his own cum out of you will reward him and also reinforce your dominance. After a while you should be able to get him to do it without asking. If he doesn’t or protests tell him no more sex unless he does. He will soon be lapping it all up.

Don’t just lie there and wait for it to dribble out so you get the wet spot, or run to the toilet to let it drain out. Make your man clean up his own mess. After all he expects you to suck him and swallow it all, so why shouldn’t he do it too.

Stage 2
Strap on dildos and toys. I bet your man is always wanting you to use toys? Does he always want to have anal sex? Most guys have this thing about anal. They think it’s so great. This stems from their own desires to try it. So, I say why not, let them try it.

Next time your man tries to have anal sex, stop him and make him promise that you can return the favor, or better still do it to him first! This is where the great strap on dildo comes in (or if not a suitable vibrator or other toy).

The strap on is best. You might want to tie him up for the first time again. Best way is to get him on all fours (the same way he likes to do you) Tie his hands in front of him and maybe his legs to the end of the bed so he can’t escape. You might need to prop him up on pillows too. Sounds familiar ?

Next use lots of lubrication. He is going to be tight (just like you were) and remember be gentle (just like he was!). The first time go very slow and just work the tip in and out, each time sliding in a little deeper. It won’t take long before you can gently push the whole dildo inside. Resist the urge to start pumping it just yet. Let it slide all the way and just stay there for a while. Rub his back and bottom, maybe spank him gently (like he does you). Then hold his hips and slowly start to pump it. Just little pumps to start with. Work it gently and slowly and you will soon find that you can pull almost all the way out and then push slowly back in again. Once you get to this stage, increase the speed a little but not too fast or hard. The first session should be maybe no more than 5 mins pumping gently. Don’t be surprised if he cums by accident as he will love it. Try to make sure he doesn’t, but sometimes he will lose control.

After you have finished with him, then if you promised he could do you, you must fulfil your promise. If you promised something else or you let him do you first, then make sure you whatever you promised him you keep to. Remember we want this to be a long-term thing for him.

If you do it right, you can make every sex session into him getting it first. If you buy the right sort of strap on dildo, you will get immense pleasure from doing him. Some girls find that they cum more when doing it to him, than they do when he does them.

Sometimes you might just want to do him and not let him do you. I just find it so good for stress relief. I have a strap on dildo that is double ended and has a clit simulator on it to. When I come back from work stressed, I strap this on and give my man a good session. By the time I am done with him I am de stressed. If he is lucky I then let him have a go with me, but often I just let him stew for a bit or give him a quick blow job.

Once you have trained him with the strap on and other toys (I make him wear love balls a lot of the time) They drive him wild and keep him horny (they drive me wild too, so I often wear them), you have established your dominance almost fully.

You now have him dressing in what you want him to wear, you have sex your way and when you want it. You will be the dominant sexual partner, and rightfully get the pleasure you want.

He will now have an interest in coming shopping with you. You can shop together for shoes, clothes and undies. He will appreciate this seasons fashions and what colors go (hopefully), and will understand that perhaps stiletto heels although sexy are not the best type of shoes for all occasions.

He will also understand why you choose the color and style of underwear you do and not always the most colorful sexy, lacy thing you can find. He will know that boring cotton panties are more comfy than the skimpy lacy g string he likes. He will appreciate the difference between tights and stockings and their benefits to him.

He will also now appreciate the issues of waxing, shaving, make up, and will understand just how long it takes to get ready to go out.

With this new-found understanding comes a willingness to also please you in other ways. Round the house he will be more willing to clean up, and do housework. Reward him in ways that best suit his duties, but very soon you could have a fully trained house maid too.

Imagine, a clean and tidy house, and a guy that gives you sex your way whenever you want it, and who appreciates all your needs. A fun partner to share shopping trips with and who is enthusiastic about your desires, yet to outward appearance when he is at work or with his friends he is just a regular guy.
What a perfect time you could have.

It might not be easy to get every guy to this stage, and some will just not work out that way. However, it is worth trying some or all these ideas.

Step 3
This is for the girl who wants to take the whole thing to a much higher level.
We have gone through the basics, and now you have a guy who is just as happy (if not more so) dressed as a girl, feminized in his everyday life and dominated in sex. This might be perfect for some, but others of you out there might want to go further.

All the areas of stages 1 and 2 can be reversed or stopped, but stage 3 is difficult to stop or revere once it starts.

Estrogen and progesterone supplements. These will help him develop more feminine features and characteristics. It is only recommended you use these if this is something you want him to have. If this is what you desire then you can either add them to his food without him knowing or make him take them with his knowledge.

These will help him lose body hair, and get a more feminine figure. However, they may have an adverse effect on his penis and balls. He might find it harder to get an erection. This might be great if you are just into doing him with your strap on, but if you do like him giving you a good session then you may be disappointed. It is not always the case, and by no means does it stop him having sex.

The other area you could go for is minor cosmetic surgery. If you/he is brave enough, go for very small breast implants. Just enough to give him maybe an A cup (unless he is willing to go for something bigger). This size is just hard enough for him to hide, yet just big enough to let him show them off when he wants. Personally, I would prefer a full B or even C cup, but depending on his job this might be difficult.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Real Life Interviews With Men Trapped in Men's Bodies

Extracted from: "Men Trapped in Men's Bodies: Narratives of Autogynephilic Transsexualism" by Anne A. Lawrence

Attraction to Men Often Reflects Desire for Validation of One's Femininity

Several informants who described their sexual attraction to, sexual fantasies about, or sexual interactions with men perceptively observed that their interest in men primarily reflected their erotic desire to have their femininity validated:
I am clearly much more physically attracted to women than men. Yet my primary fantasies are about being a woman with a man. As I think about this, I would concede that this may have much more to do with feminine validation than attraction. The very idea of being desired by a heterosexual man is erotic for me. (018)

Before the transition process started, I often fantasized I was a woman having sex with a man. A little while into transition, my sexual submission with men seemed to validate my feminine feelings. To have intercourse with men seems to be as womanly as anyone can get. (213)

I had sex with a real man. He made me feel Iike literally a whole new person. It is as if l had finally discovered sex; like having sex with a man who affirmed my womanhood was some kind of ultimate fantasy. (035)

I have had sexual encounters with eight men. These have been generally less than ideal, since they have all had trouble maintaining erections. None the less, I found I enjoyed the physical aspects of this type of sex and felt I was confirming my womanhood by being a passive partner. (068)

I fantasized about being penetrated by a man and wanted a boyfriend to confirm my femininity. (200)

I am a postoperative transsexual. I have found that I get the most sexually excited now when I fantasize about being sexy and beautiful and when someone else sees me that way. In fact, adoration from someone else plays into it. (069)

It occurred to me that I should consider sex with men - what better way to confirm my new status as a woman! The idea of sex with men used to disgust me, but little by little that changed, and I became tremendously turned on by the superior physical strength men have and my growing ability to turn them on just by flaunting my stuff. Getting men aroused gives me an incredible sexual thrill and confirms my desirability as a woman. (077)

I met a man who fell in love with me. When I was with him, I was happy to be submissive, I was excited to be looked after and to feel pretty and sexy. (214)

I sometimes have the sense that what really thrills me is not my sexual partner (i.e., the supposed object of desire) but rather what he makes me feel like. I would feel thrilled to be a sexy woman capable of arousing a man - a real, straight, masculine man. (189)

When I am a woman, I want to be with a man, acting like a woman, being treated like a woman and being loved like a woman. I know that this would be the ultimate for me.

I was living full-time. I had a boyfriend that I communicated with by e-mail. I even had a date with him when he was in my town. I enjoyed very much being treated like a lady. (215)

I am powerfully sexually excited by the idea of being desired by men and by the notion of being thought of as beautiful. The turn on is not me, but all the clothes. (216)

In all of the preceding narrative excerpts, the informants emphasized the validation they experienced from real or fantasized interactions with men. They described how the real or imagined men they interacted with made them feel about themselves: womanly, desirable, submissive, sexy, beautiful, attractive. They notably did not emphasize how they felt about specific men or about men in general (e.g., they did not describe falling in love with specific men or feeling aroused by specific men's bodies - or by men's bodies generally).

One informant reported that she experienced similar feelings of validation of her womanhood after being anally penetrated by another preoperative MtF transsexual:
I was with an Asian pre-op. She was totally functional, and I bottomed (anal) for her for about a half hour. It didn't hurt at all and I felt so feminine. I loved that I could cause a penis to orgasm the same way a natal girl can. It was so great to be totally submissive. I loved being an object of pleasure for someone. (034)

As this informant suggested, the ability to take a woman's sexual role (or something like it) in relation to another person’s penis is sometimes all that is necessary to experience validation of one's femininity. The gender of the person who possesses the penis may be of secondary importance.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Three Ways to Pretend to be a Girl


Three Methods: Dressing the Part , Achieving a Feminine Look, Behaving Like a Girl

There are a variety of reasons why you might want to pretend to be a girl. Perhaps you are a man portraying a girl in a play or for a drag show, or maybe you are just playing dress-up at home for fun. 

If you are questioning your gender identity, then you might be interested in experimenting with being a girl to see how it feels. Whatever your reason for wanting to pretend to be a girl, you can do things to achieve a feminine look, dress the part, and alter your mannerisms.

Dressing the Part


Get a wig or style your hair. If you have long hair already, then you can just style it. If your hair is short, then you may want to get a wig to enhance your feminine look. When you are choosing a wig, make sure that you purchase one that is high quality if you want your look to be more convincing. A poor quality wig may not look as good.

If you are dressing up for a drag show or play, then you can go with an over the top wig, such as something that is ultra-­long, styled like a bee hive, or dyed an unnatural color.

If you just want to see what it feels like to dress as a girl, then try curling your hair, using a flat iron for a pin­ straight look, or braiding your hair.

Long hair will help you to look feminine and it can also provide some coverage from masculine features such as a square jaw, but having long hair is not absolutely necessary if you are just dressing up to see how it feels. If you have short hair, then you can also try styling it in a feminine way. For example, you can use mousse and  curl the longer pieces, or wear an accessory, such as a headband or barrette.


Put on makeup. Makeup can help to accentuate your features and give your face a more feminine appearance. If you have never worn makeup before, then you may need to watch some tutorials on how to apply it. Try checking Youtube for some basic makeup application tutorials.

If you just want to get a feel for what it is like to wear makeup or if you want to try to pass as a girl, then stick with a light layer of foundation, some light eye shadow and mascara, and a nude or pink lipstick.

If you want something more dramatic, such as for a drag show, then you can put on a heavy layer of foundation, black eyeliner, fake lashes, and some bold red lipstick.


Wear women’s clothing. Wearing women’s clothing is an essential part of looking like a girl. Lots of girls wear unisex clothing, such as pants, jeans, and t­-shirts. However, dresses are your best bet for drag shows because they are flashier. If you just want to get a feel for what it is like to dress as a girl, then wearing a dress or a skirt with a girl’s top will give you a better idea.

Choose a style that flatters you and shows off your best features. For example, you can choose a short skirt if you want to show off your legs, or a sleeveless top if you want to show off your arms.
If you are going for an exaggerated look, such as for a drag show or theater production, then you might want to choose something flashy, ultra-­feminine, or elaborate. For example, you could go with a sequined dress, a fluffy tulle skirt, or a hot pink evening gown.

If you are interested in dressing as a girl to pass as a girl, then try to choose clothing that is in style. Wearing current trends may help make it easier for you to pass as a woman.


Add some accessories. Earrings, necklaces, bracelets, scarves, and other accessories can help to enhance your feminine look. Choose an accessory that complements your outfit and that makes you feel pretty.

If you are dressing up with the intention of trying to pass as a girl or see how it feels, then you could go with a simple pair of pearl earrings or a dainty gold necklace.

If you are going for a more dramatic look, such as for a drag show or theater production, then go for some long dangling earrings, a long glittering costume jewelry necklace, or a lots of bangle bracelets.


Slip on some women’s shoes. Shoes are an essential part of your look. Select some women’s shoes that go with your outfit and that you will feel comfortable wearing. High heels are ultra-­feminine, but they can be difficult to walk in. You will probably need to practice walking in them before you go out in public.

If you are dressing up for drag or a play, then high heels may provide the most dramatic effect. Just make sure that you can walk in them without falling!

If you are experimenting with women’s clothing because you want to see how it feels or possible pass as a woman in public, then try starting out with some ballet flats, some low heel dress shoes, or a fashionable pair of sandals. Make sure that your toenails are painted if you will be baring your toes.

Achieving a Feminine Look


Shave facial hair, legs, and armpits. Getting rid of excess facial hair, armpit hair, and leg hair is crucial when dressing as a woman. Having visible facial hair can be a dead giveaway, so make sure that you give yourself a close shave before you start making the transformation.
If you don’t want to shave your armpits, then just make sure that you are wearing something that covers them completely, such as a long ­sleeve or ¾ length sleeve top.

If you don’t want to shave your legs, then you can also go with some opaque tights. Wear two pairs for extra coverage.


Tuck your penis. Tucking your penis back is an important part of passing as a girl. To tuck you penis, pull it back towards your buttock and between your legs. Then, put on two pairs of form-­fitting panties to help keep it in place.

Another option is to use a gaff. You can buy or make a gaff. To make a gaff, cut the elastic waistband off of a pair of pantyhose and then cut the top off of a sock. Thread the waistband through the sock so that the sock is centered.

To use a gaff, slip your legs through the two openings in the elastic and pull it up like a pair of underwear. As you do so, tuck your penis back. Then, adjust the gaff as needed and put on your panties. The gaff will help to keep your penis tucked back.


Put on a bra. Wearing a bra is an essential part of looking like a girl. Choose a bra that fits around your chest comfortably. Measure your chest around the widest part to see what size bra you will need. For example, if your chest is 38 inches around, then purchase a bra that is a size 38.

The cup sizes are lettered, such as A, B, C, D, etc. A is on the smaller end while a D cup is on the larger end. You can choose any cup size you like, but keep in mind that choosing a large cup size may make it hard to fit into some clothing. To play it safe, go for a B or C cup.[6] However, if you are dressing up for a drag show or as part of a play, then you may want to go for a larger bra size.
You will also need to stuff the cups. You can stuff the bra with socks, tissues, balloons filled with a few ounces of water, or special silicone bra pads.


Wear slimming undergarments. Wearing slimming undergarments or shape-wear can help you to get a smoother curvier figure. These garments can also help to taper your waist, which will help to make you look more feminine.

Try wearing a corset or girdle, a pair of shape-wear shorts, or a pair of pantyhose with a high waist.

Consider wearing hip or butt padding. If you don’t have much fat on your hips or buttocks, then wearing a padded undergarment or adding padding to your undergarments can help you to achieve a curvier look.

You can purchase pre-­padded undergarments or just slip some padding into your underwear or pantyhose.   For a drag show or play, you may want a more exaggerated figure. Try using more padding or even a pillow to create the appearance of curvy hips and big butt.

Behaving Like a Girl


Practice your walk. While there is no one way to walk like a girl, you may want to practice walking in a more feminine way. Instead of taking straight, hard strides, try to walk with a bit of a sway to your hips and lightness in your step. Unless you are going for an over ­the ­top walk, such as for a drag show, try not to place your feet directly in front of each other or pretend you are walking on a line because this can make your walk look too exaggerated.

If you are just trying to experiment with what walking like a girl is like, then just aim for some slight movement in your hips as you take each step.


Sit with your ankles or legs crossed. A masculine way of sitting is with legs spread wide and arms out to take up more space. Instead, keep your knees together and your elbows in close to your body. You can cross your ankles or cross your knees if you feel comfortable doing so. This seated position will help to give you a more feminine appearance.

You can also fold your hands on your lap or place them gently on the table in front of you.


Adjust your voice. Women tend to have higher voices than men and this can give you away as a man dressing up like a woman. If you have a deep voice, then you may want to practice speaking at a higher octave.

However, keep in mind that some women have deeper voices, so try not to feel self­-conscious if your voice is a little deeper than some other women’s voices.

If you are dressing as a woman for a drag show or play, then you can either use your normal voice or go with an over-the-­top girl voice.


Smile and laugh often. Some women tend to smile and laugh more than men. Smiling and laughing more often can help you to appear more feminine, so try to smile and laugh a lot. Unless it is part of your drag show or character, you don’t need to wear a big grin constantly or laugh all of the time. If you are just trying to get a feel for more feminine mannerisms, then try to smile and laugh a little more than you usually would.

You may also want to practice your feminine laugh. Listen to how other women laugh and then try to imitate it.