Saturday, August 13, 2016

Real Life Interviews With Men Trapped in Men's Bodies

Extracted from: "Men Trapped in Men's Bodies: Narratives of Autogynephilic Transsexualism" by Anne A. Lawrence

Attraction to Men Often Reflects Desire for Validation of One's Femininity

Several informants who described their sexual attraction to, sexual fantasies about, or sexual interactions with men perceptively observed that their interest in men primarily reflected their erotic desire to have their femininity validated:
I am clearly much more physically attracted to women than men. Yet my primary fantasies are about being a woman with a man. As I think about this, I would concede that this may have much more to do with feminine validation than attraction. The very idea of being desired by a heterosexual man is erotic for me. (018)

Before the transition process started, I often fantasized I was a woman having sex with a man. A little while into transition, my sexual submission with men seemed to validate my feminine feelings. To have intercourse with men seems to be as womanly as anyone can get. (213)

I had sex with a real man. He made me feel Iike literally a whole new person. It is as if l had finally discovered sex; like having sex with a man who affirmed my womanhood was some kind of ultimate fantasy. (035)

I have had sexual encounters with eight men. These have been generally less than ideal, since they have all had trouble maintaining erections. None the less, I found I enjoyed the physical aspects of this type of sex and felt I was confirming my womanhood by being a passive partner. (068)

I fantasized about being penetrated by a man and wanted a boyfriend to confirm my femininity. (200)

I am a postoperative transsexual. I have found that I get the most sexually excited now when I fantasize about being sexy and beautiful and when someone else sees me that way. In fact, adoration from someone else plays into it. (069)

It occurred to me that I should consider sex with men - what better way to confirm my new status as a woman! The idea of sex with men used to disgust me, but little by little that changed, and I became tremendously turned on by the superior physical strength men have and my growing ability to turn them on just by flaunting my stuff. Getting men aroused gives me an incredible sexual thrill and confirms my desirability as a woman. (077)

I met a man who fell in love with me. When I was with him, I was happy to be submissive, I was excited to be looked after and to feel pretty and sexy. (214)

I sometimes have the sense that what really thrills me is not my sexual partner (i.e., the supposed object of desire) but rather what he makes me feel like. I would feel thrilled to be a sexy woman capable of arousing a man - a real, straight, masculine man. (189)

When I am a woman, I want to be with a man, acting like a woman, being treated like a woman and being loved like a woman. I know that this would be the ultimate for me.

I was living full-time. I had a boyfriend that I communicated with by e-mail. I even had a date with him when he was in my town. I enjoyed very much being treated like a lady. (215)

I am powerfully sexually excited by the idea of being desired by men and by the notion of being thought of as beautiful. The turn on is not me, but all the clothes. (216)

In all of the preceding narrative excerpts, the informants emphasized the validation they experienced from real or fantasized interactions with men. They described how the real or imagined men they interacted with made them feel about themselves: womanly, desirable, submissive, sexy, beautiful, attractive. They notably did not emphasize how they felt about specific men or about men in general (e.g., they did not describe falling in love with specific men or feeling aroused by specific men's bodies - or by men's bodies generally).

One informant reported that she experienced similar feelings of validation of her womanhood after being anally penetrated by another preoperative MtF transsexual:
I was with an Asian pre-op. She was totally functional, and I bottomed (anal) for her for about a half hour. It didn't hurt at all and I felt so feminine. I loved that I could cause a penis to orgasm the same way a natal girl can. It was so great to be totally submissive. I loved being an object of pleasure for someone. (034)

As this informant suggested, the ability to take a woman's sexual role (or something like it) in relation to another person’s penis is sometimes all that is necessary to experience validation of one's femininity. The gender of the person who possesses the penis may be of secondary importance.

Friday, July 22, 2016

Three Ways to Pretend to be a Girl


Three Methods: Dressing the Part , Achieving a Feminine Look, Behaving Like a Girl

There are a variety of reasons why you might want to pretend to be a girl. Perhaps you are a man portraying a girl in a play or for a drag show, or maybe you are just playing dress-up at home for fun. 

If you are questioning your gender identity, then you might be interested in experimenting with being a girl to see how it feels. Whatever your reason for wanting to pretend to be a girl, you can do things to achieve a feminine look, dress the part, and alter your mannerisms.

Dressing the Part

Get a wig or style your hair. If you have long hair already, then you can just style it. If your hair is short, then you may want to get a wig to enhance your feminine look. When you are choosing a wig, make sure that you purchase one that is high quality if you want your look to be more convincing. A poor quality wig may not look as good.

If you are dressing up for a drag show or play, then you can go with an over the top wig, such as something that is ultra-­long, styled like a bee hive, or dyed an unnatural color.

If you just want to see what it feels like to dress as a girl, then try curling your hair, using a flat iron for a pin­ straight look, or braiding your hair.

Long hair will help you to look feminine and it can also provide some coverage from masculine features such as a square jaw, but having long hair is not absolutely necessary if you are just dressing up to see how it feels. If you have short hair, then you can also try styling it in a feminine way. For example, you can use mousse and  curl the longer pieces, or wear an accessory, such as a headband or barrette.

Put on makeup. Makeup can help to accentuate your features and give your face a more feminine appearance. If you have never worn makeup before, then you may need to watch some tutorials on how to apply it. Try checking Youtube for some basic makeup application tutorials.

If you just want to get a feel for what it is like to wear makeup or if you want to try to pass as a girl, then stick with a light layer of foundation, some light eye shadow and mascara, and a nude or pink lipstick.

If you want something more dramatic, such as for a drag show, then you can put on a heavy layer of foundation, black eyeliner, fake lashes, and some bold red lipstick.

Wear women’s clothing. Wearing women’s clothing is an essential part of looking like a girl. Lots of girls wear unisex clothing, such as pants, jeans, and t­-shirts. However, dresses are your best bet for drag shows because they are flashier. If you just want to get a feel for what it is like to dress as a girl, then wearing a dress or a skirt with a girl’s top will give you a better idea.

Choose a style that flatters you and shows off your best features. For example, you can choose a short skirt if you want to show off your legs, or a sleeveless top if you want to show off your arms.
If you are going for an exaggerated look, such as for a drag show or theater production, then you might want to choose something flashy, ultra-­feminine, or elaborate. For example, you could go with a sequined dress, a fluffy tulle skirt, or a hot pink evening gown.

If you are interested in dressing as a girl to pass as a girl, then try to choose clothing that is in style. Wearing current trends may help make it easier for you to pass as a woman.

Add some accessories. Earrings, necklaces, bracelets, scarves, and other accessories can help to enhance your feminine look. Choose an accessory that complements your outfit and that makes you feel pretty.

If you are dressing up with the intention of trying to pass as a girl or see how it feels, then you could go with a simple pair of pearl earrings or a dainty gold necklace.

If you are going for a more dramatic look, such as for a drag show or theater production, then go for some long dangling earrings, a long glittering costume jewelry necklace, or a lots of bangle bracelets.

Slip on some women’s shoes. Shoes are an essential part of your look. Select some women’s shoes that go with your outfit and that you will feel comfortable wearing. High heels are ultra-­feminine, but they can be difficult to walk in. You will probably need to practice walking in them before you go out in public.

If you are dressing up for drag or a play, then high heels may provide the most dramatic effect. Just make sure that you can walk in them without falling!

If you are experimenting with women’s clothing because you want to see how it feels or possible pass as a woman in public, then try starting out with some ballet flats, some low heel dress shoes, or a fashionable pair of sandals. Make sure that your toenails are painted if you will be baring your toes.

Achieving a Feminine Look

Shave facial hair, legs, and armpits. Getting rid of excess facial hair, armpit hair, and leg hair is crucial when dressing as a woman. Having visible facial hair can be a dead giveaway, so make sure that you give yourself a close shave before you start making the transformation.
If you don’t want to shave your armpits, then just make sure that you are wearing something that covers them completely, such as a long ­sleeve or ¾ length sleeve top.

If you don’t want to shave your legs, then you can also go with some opaque tights. Wear two pairs for extra coverage.

Tuck your penis. Tucking your penis back is an important part of passing as a girl. To tuck you penis, pull it back towards your buttock and between your legs. Then, put on two pairs of form-­fitting panties to help keep it in place.

Another option is to use a gaff. You can buy or make a gaff. To make a gaff, cut the elastic waistband off of a pair of pantyhose and then cut the top off of a sock. Thread the waistband through the sock so that the sock is centered.

To use a gaff, slip your legs through the two openings in the elastic and pull it up like a pair of underwear. As you do so, tuck your penis back. Then, adjust the gaff as needed and put on your panties. The gaff will help to keep your penis tucked back.

Put on a bra. Wearing a bra is an essential part of looking like a girl. Choose a bra that fits around your chest comfortably. Measure your chest around the widest part to see what size bra you will need. For example, if your chest is 38 inches around, then purchase a bra that is a size 38.

The cup sizes are lettered, such as A, B, C, D, etc. A is on the smaller end while a D cup is on the larger end. You can choose any cup size you like, but keep in mind that choosing a large cup size may make it hard to fit into some clothing. To play it safe, go for a B or C cup.[6] However, if you are dressing up for a drag show or as part of a play, then you may want to go for a larger bra size.
You will also need to stuff the cups. You can stuff the bra with socks, tissues, balloons filled with a few ounces of water, or special silicone bra pads.

Wear slimming undergarments. Wearing slimming undergarments or shape-wear can help you to get a smoother curvier figure. These garments can also help to taper your waist, which will help to make you look more feminine.

Try wearing a corset or girdle, a pair of shape-wear shorts, or a pair of pantyhose with a high waist.

Consider wearing hip or butt padding. If you don’t have much fat on your hips or buttocks, then wearing a padded undergarment or adding padding to your undergarments can help you to achieve a curvier look.

You can purchase pre-­padded undergarments or just slip some padding into your underwear or pantyhose.   For a drag show or play, you may want a more exaggerated figure. Try using more padding or even a pillow to create the appearance of curvy hips and big butt.

Behaving Like a Girl

Practice your walk. While there is no one way to walk like a girl, you may want to practice walking in a more feminine way. Instead of taking straight, hard strides, try to walk with a bit of a sway to your hips and lightness in your step. Unless you are going for an over ­the ­top walk, such as for a drag show, try not to place your feet directly in front of each other or pretend you are walking on a line because this can make your walk look too exaggerated.

If you are just trying to experiment with what walking like a girl is like, then just aim for some slight movement in your hips as you take each step.

Sit with your ankles or legs crossed. A masculine way of sitting is with legs spread wide and arms out to take up more space. Instead, keep your knees together and your elbows in close to your body. You can cross your ankles or cross your knees if you feel comfortable doing so. This seated position will help to give you a more feminine appearance.

You can also fold your hands on your lap or place them gently on the table in front of you.

Adjust your voice. Women tend to have higher voices than men and this can give you away as a man dressing up like a woman. If you have a deep voice, then you may want to practice speaking at a higher octave.

However, keep in mind that some women have deeper voices, so try not to feel self­-conscious if your voice is a little deeper than some other women’s voices.

If you are dressing as a woman for a drag show or play, then you can either use your normal voice or go with an over­ the ­top girl voice.

Smile and laugh often. Some women tend to smile and laugh more than men. Smiling and laughing more often can help you to appear more feminine, so try to smile and laugh a lot. Unless it is part of your drag show or character, you don’t need to wear a big grin constantly or laugh all of the time. If you are just trying to get a feel for more feminine mannerisms, then try to smile and laugh a little more than you usually would.

You may also want to practice your feminine laugh. Listen to how other women laugh and then try to imitate it.

Thursday, June 30, 2016

6 Signs Your Girlfriend Is Bisexual

 Scoring yourself a lady friend who also enjoys women can be an exciting journey — so long as you are both prepared to embark on it.

Bisexuality obviously has its perks for some, and all the extra adventures can enhance your sex life. But she doesn’t have to be truly bisexual (in the most proper sense of the word) for the erotic feminine-loving side of her to emerge (with you present).
There are two versions of women who get it on with other women: the bisexual woman and the bi-curious woman. While bi-curious women are playful and ready to experiment with their sexuality just for fun, bisexual women may or may not be willing to ask you to join in on their girl-on-girl escapades.
Here’s how to tell if your girl is bisexual and whether or not she’s keen to play.
Being bisexual
Being bisexual is not something to be made light of. It can be extremely confusing and heartbreaking, and it might be difficult to deal with emotionally. A bisexual woman is not there for your erotic entertainment, so if you want to spend your time with a bisexual woman, get that out of your head — this is not what this relationship is about. If your girlfriend comes out of the closet, treat it the same as if she told you she’s a lesbian: with kindness and care. If she decides that she would like to experiment with you and others, good for you both. If not, don’t push it.

She openly appreciates women
Women who love other women and can appreciate their finer qualities are gems — they are generally not threatened by the beauty of another, and can join you in admiring them. Everyone loves pretty things, and women overall tend to be very pretty things. This is certainly not a definitive clue, but if she is able to appreciate the sex appeal of a woman, then it means her mind is open to observing such things… and maybe, just maybe, it’s also open to more.

She refers to past experiences
If she gets with girls — or has done so in the past — it is likely enough that it will get bought up at some point. With all the woman-smooching that’s been going on in the last 10 or so years (apparently everyone is doing it or has done it), it is highly likely that she has done it at some stage. Whether she liked it or not, and wants to repeat the experience, however, is another story. You will need to probe for more information.

She’s into girl-on-girl porn
Her loving lesbian porn is a dead giveaway. This will tell you a lot more than any other clue. If she can actually watch and enjoy a woman being pleasured by another woman, then it is highly likely that she wouldn’t mind a bit of that action herself.

She’s overly affectionate with certain friends
This can be a good clue, but don’t let your imagination run too rampant — it probably isn’t the girl you wish it was, and making up huge fantasies about your girl and her friends is likely to land you in trouble. Hinting will probably get you in trouble if you’re wrong, so keep it to yourself until you can see what is clearly going on.

Lovin’ the ladies
The easiest way to find out what she likes is to ask her. Amazing, I know, but true. She will probably not have a problem telling you about her experiences, desires and fantasies involving other women. She will be aware that it is one of man’s most sought-after experiences, and because of that, she’ll probably be quite willing to share.

The kind of conversation starter you could try is, “When was the first time you kissed a girl?” This assumes she has, and will no doubt make her giggle as she relates the story — or, it enables you to ask if she would like to (hypothetically, of course). Keep it light, keep it sexy, and maybe you’ll get what you want. Be respectful, be kind, and whatever you do, don’t push your luck — it has a way of backfiring…

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Transwomen and Dating

Mark says that a lot of men who hide their attraction to transgender women are "trying to protect themselves from this gay label and being judged by society," but tells them they're not gay, and that "finding transgender people attractive is the most natural thing in the world. They are beautiful."
Mark's current partner, a transgender woman named Lorraina, is also interviewed talking about how she'd told her mother at a young age that she wanted to be a girl and her family was the "holy grail" in terms of how supportive they were.  
Mark and Lorraina both seem like incredibly awesome people, which is not so much the case with Morris, 41, who says that having sex with transgender women is "more easy," with his theory being that "not everybody likes it, to go with transgender" and that fact makes them easier to sleep with. He also calls transgender women Ferraris, thereby cementing himself as the resident frat bro. 

"During the first year of my transition I did discover that I have a growing attraction to men, something I never had before. I had by then been in a wonderful 11-year relationship with a woman who is still my partner today.
"Being newly minted with the label of pansexual and beginning to identify as polyamorous (legitimizing in a way years of consensual and healthy non-monogamy), I entered the dating pool primarily through online dating. - C, a 34-year-old pansexual transgender woman in the Los Angeles area.

"I don't love her because she's trans, or despite the fact that she's trans. It's not something I ignore or something that I focus on; it's a part of her. But she is trans. I've learned a lot just by being with her.
"I've learned to be grateful for things I'd previously taken for granted: My safety walking down the street, the fact that I can be reasonably confident of finding a job if I look for one, my assumption that others see me as I see myself with no need for me to constantly evaluate my behavior and others' reactions to it." - D, a 42-year-old cisgender partner of a transgender woman.

"I find a lot of men fetishize trans women in a way that they don't other women. I often hear statements that no man would ever say to a ciswoman. For example: "I've always been curious about sex with a transsexual. Can you tell me what your penis is like?"" - E, a 40-year-old queer transgender woman in NYC.

"After reassignment surgery, it seems that the chaser pool dried up and I haven't had much luck with dating. The one time where I almost had a date post-surgery, after disclosing to him he of course had an existential crisis and cancelled." - J, a 30-year-old straight transgender woman in East Lansing, Michigan.

Last year, after decades of living a double life, Matt was finally ready for a partner. He became serious about finding the right trans woman to spend his life with. But where to look? There's been an active market for trans personal ads on Craigslist for years. Clicking into the m4t category of Misc. Romance, you'll find reams of posts by trans amorous men. There is a weighty symbolism to Craigslist's subcategories: Casual Encounters is, as one would expect, the most popular. If you're cruising there, all bets are off. As the guys see it, social graces are checked at the door. Then, over in Misc. Romance, again and again, you'll find posts by guys professing their exhaustion with Casual Encounters. They've had enough; they want more. There is a tenderness to the forum—the same users post diligently week after week in pursuit of their transgender soul mate, and stock photos of roses often accompany their ads.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Observations About Transvestites

This primer is about the sex-lives of transvestites. 

A transvestite may be characterized as being sexually schizophrenic, i.e., has two views about his sexual drive and identity. His libido houses an aggressive male attitude about sex, but also a passive female attitude. 

A transvestite is continuously conflicted about his sexual feelings. Often a transvestite will manifest heterosexual feelings when he is with a woman, and completely opposite passive feelings when he is with a man. 

Stage 1 - FANTASY
It is commonly believed that men fantasize more than women. Occasionally people will extend their fantasies to their real lives. The reality can work out okay or can ruin lives. For transvestites, their fantasies are about being women; living their lived as females. 

Sometimes a transvestite will consider himself ready to go out in public before he has learned how to pass. It is a compulsion - the need for acceptance of him for what he is. The lines are blurred and he may become upset when people do not accept him as readily as he thinks they should.

He begins by going out for walks at night. Then it will gravitate to going for drives. When he arrives home safe and sound, he feels a great sense of elation at having faced the World in his female persona. This elation often leads to masturbation.

Most transvestites attempt to transform themselves into their perception of an attractive sexy woman. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, they are usually content with how they look in the mirror.

Sexual relief usually comes in the form of masturbation while admiring themselves in the mirror. While masturbating, they fantasize about having been born a real woman and the fun they could have by being made love to by men. 

In many cases, masturbation is the extent of their sexual activity. They either wish it won't go further, or they don't know how. It is a lonely existence. Many transvestites book into hotel rooms so that they can put on their outfits and achieve climax through masturbation.

Some transvestites will muster the courage to go out in public. Usually this will be a gay pub, where he feels he will be accepted. He will then make friends with gays and bisexuals, and sooner or later he will end up alone with a man. 

When he is with a man, some form of sex will occur. Initially, the transvestite will not want to be the recipient of anal sex - no matter how much he has fantasized about it. He will want his first sexual experience in his female persona to be restricted to oral sex. The person he is with will usually be patient, and not insist on fucking him. The two will then engage in mutual fondling which after a while will result in the transvestite sucking the man's cock.

First attempts at oral sex will usually continue for some time. When the man is ready to climax, he will either pull out and cum on his face, or he will ejaculate in transvestite's mouth. If it is the first cock he has sucked, the transvestite will find the taste of semen hard to swallow, and will spit it out. After a while, he will develop a taste for it. 

The act of sucking a man's cock appeals to the passive, submissive nature of a transvestite. Normally, he will kneel at the man's feet and allow the man to place his cock in his mouth. Once a transvestite has sucked his first cock, he won't be able to get enough. He will do everything he can to be able to perform oral sex on men as often as possible. For some transvestites this will be enough; they won't want to take sexual matters any further. It will be sufficient to satisfy their need for role-fulfillment.

Many transvestites do not stop at oral sex. They want to experience, and be the recipient of, penetrative sex. It is common for transvestites to give this a great deal of thought. The question of health arises as well as the matter of pain that anal sex causes. Most transvestites will have experimented on themselves and they will be aware of the painfulness of anal penetration. In the end, the need to experience submissive sex will triumph.

Sometimes they will try-out anal sex with another transvestite, or will with a man. After the first few experiences, they will want to do with ordinary men. There are no shortage of men who want to fuck transvestites, and so before long they will find themselves able to have penetrative sex with a number of men. To many transvestites, this is role-fulfillment. For some, it is not enough. They will choose to go the whole route - seeking gender reassignment surgery.

In some cases, oral and penetrative sex are not enough. It will not fully satisfy their submissiveness and need to be dominated by men. These will actively seek-out men for whom rough-sex is their preference. Many men like to have sex with transvestites because they can do anything to them - things that real women wouldn't allow. This includes whipping and using them as toilets. Men like this get off on this sort of thing.

Transvestite prostitutes are rarely surprised at anger many men feel. Many men are unhappy in their marriages. Although most men just want oral sex or a fuck, some want to beat the transvestite until they achieved an erection, and then fuck them as forcibly as they can.

As may be seen from above, a transvestite's sex-life is more than a little complicated. It is further complicated by the indisputable fact that most transvestites - unless they are homosexual - don't like the physical sexual side of their lives. It does nothing for them physically - many don't achieve erections when they are being used by men for sex. It does a mental thing - it fulfills their perception of their passive female side. It is simply role-fulfillment.